Ankh-Morpork Royal Art Museum

There is one obvious exit: backward.

Art by Xorphitus

a purple apple wood pen (Earth)
This pretty, slender apple wood pen sits lightly in the hand, the delicate shaft and responsive balance leaving no doubt that it will write beautifully for a skilled writer. It has been smoothly stained purple.
It is clean and dry.
It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax.
It has been decorated with a skilfully engraved pattern of cracked stone, symbolising the element of earth.

a bright green cherry wood pen (Water)
This pretty, slender cherry wood pen sits lightly in the hand, the delicate shaft and responsive balance leaving no doubt that it will write beautifully for a skilled writer. It has been expertly stained bright green.
It is clean and dry.
It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of lemon into the air around it.
Engraved on the bright green cherry wood pen is a flowing pattern which artfully depicts the essence of water.

a light pink mahogany pen (Fire)
This pretty, slender mahogany pen sits lightly in the hand, the delicate shaft and responsive balance leaving no doubt that it will write beautifully for a skilled writer. It has been expertly stained light pink.
It is clean and dry.
It has been polished to a lustrous sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of pennyroyal into the air around it.
It has been engraved with a well composed and quite realistic fire pattern.

a greasy black hawthorn pen (Heart)
This pretty, slender hawthorn pen sits lightly in the hand, the delicate shaft and responsive balance leaving no doubt that it will write beautifully for a skilled writer. It has been expertly stained greasy black.
It is clean and dry.
It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of night-blooming cereus into the air around it.
Two gracefully-curved hearts have been engraved on the greasy black hawthorn pen, one inside the other.

a rich red birch pen (Air)
This pretty, slender birch pen sits lightly in the hand, the delicate shaft and responsive balance leaving no doubt that it will write beautifully for a skilled writer. It has been neatly stained rich red.
It is clean and dry.
It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax.
It has been rather skilfully engraved with an airy pattern, including small leaves floating on a breeze.

a glass shard
This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
A pattern of a dozen simple, elegant leaves drifts downwards across its surface in an unfelt wind.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
A single complex branching snowflake adorns the glass shard.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
It has been decorated with an intricately engraved pattern of a bamboo forest, consisting of tall stems and spindly leaves.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
The glass shard has been engraved with a pleasing pattern of lotus blooms and leaves.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
A snarling tiger in mid-pounce has been engraved on it in intricate detail.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
A finely-detailed engraving of an Auriental dragon adorns the glass shard, body coiled dramatically.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
Motion can almost be seen from the beautiful butterfly which has been engraved on it.

This is a large, jagged-edged shard of glass which was once part of a lantern window. It looks quite sharp, and would probably cut flesh quite easily, so it's best to be careful with it; otherwise accidents could happen.
A realistic-looking koi carp has been engraved on the glass shard, surrounded by wavy lines representing water.

a <metal> cabbage brooch
An elegant circle of platinum bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant red gold disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

An elegant circle of bronze bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant circle of pewter bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant white gold disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

An elegant circle of brass bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant circle of black gold bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant silver disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

An elegant circle of rose gold bears a pattern of cabbage fronds in low relief, recalling the tasty and loyal denizens of the Sto Plains. From beneath a frond at the centre of the disc, a pair of eyes peek shyly out with an affectionate gaze.

An elegant electrum disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

An elegant gold disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

An elegant copper disc has been shaped to resemble a lovingly detailed cabbage, each frond picked out in low relief and a pair of eyes peeking shyly from the centre with an adoring gaze.

a brass ring
This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A finely-detailed engraving of an wizard's staff and two crossed smith's hammers adorns the brass ring. It's even possible to make out the grain in the wood of the staff.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with a cosy-looking three-story house in its own gardens, with net curtains and a "Vacancies" sign swinging on a post at the front.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with a baroquely detailed skull, surrounded by a circle of finger bones and teeth arranged in the shape of a funeral wreath.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with a symbol representing the alchemical principle of gold, within a detailed border of stars.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A crystal ball on an ornately carved stand adorns the brass ring. The beautifully detailed engraving is precisely drawn enough that it's possible to make out a scene within it - the Great Hall of Unseen University at Hogswatchnight.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with a grim sigil of a fanged ram's skull, an octogram nestling between the down-curled horns and flames dancing in the eyes sockets.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with an ornately swirled circlet, the patterns irresistably bringing to mind flame and wind and waves breaking on the shore.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been very neatly engraved with a dapper upturned top hat and an ivory-tipped wand drumming on the brim, as if to reach in and twirl something out.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A single ornate, complex star, with twice as many points as a square has corners, adorns the brass ring. The fantastically complex interior decoration is reminiscent of gear trains, wood grain, the flow of molten gold, and the swirl of enchantment around a wizard's hand.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A beautifully detailed oak tree has been engraved onto the brass ring with a steady hand.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A tall tower, unmistakably the Tower of Art of the Unseen University, has been engraved on it in intricate detail.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
A very elegant and lethal-looking circle of staves, knives, broken bottles, and magical flames has been elegantly engraved on it.

This is a very nice ring that has been lovingly crafted from brass. It's engraved with leaf-patterns running around the outside.
It has been engraved with a wizard's pointy hat, complete with moons and stars. The authentically battered tip and frayed brim show that it's a hat of experience.

a chain of stars
A dozen twinkling pewter stars, strung on a matching necklace, shimmer and draw the eye.

A slim, delicate silver necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate brass necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate gold chain supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, the largest no bigger than a child's fingernail. The small movements as they hang from the necklace chain draw the eye, sending the subtlest of glints and twinkles across to anyone watching.

A slim, delicate white gold necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate platinum chain supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, the largest no bigger than a child's fingernail. The small movements as they hang from the necklace chain draw the eye, sending the subtlest of glints and twinkles across to anyone watching.

A slim, delicate copper necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate rose gold necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate red gold necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate electrum necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate bronze necklace supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, each the size of a child's fingernail.

A slim, delicate black gold chain supports a dozen shimmering, twinkling stars, the largest no bigger than a child's fingernail. Each has been lovingly shaped and polished, and the subtle variations in the metal lend each star its own individual magic. The small movements as they hang from the necklace chain draw the eye, sending the subtlest of glints
and twinkles across to anyone watching.

a <metal> tankard
Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this red gold tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

This electrum tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

This rose gold tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this platinum tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

This brass tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this bronze tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this copper tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

This black gold tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this white gold tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this gold tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.

This pewter tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

This silver tankard is quite tall and slender, with a neatly rounded rim and a solid base.
It is open.

Short and sturdy, with a solid base and a strong handle, this gold tankard will hold a full pint safely in even the most drunken grip.
It is open.