Ankh-Morpork Royal Art Museum

There is one obvious exit: backward.

Witch Trials 2015

look

This is the central section of the citizens' gallery. The ceiling is plain plaster and the other surfaces are papered with swirled ruby red wallpaper. Many gold painted picture frames displaying iconographs are positioned around the room. Hanging on the centre of the ceiling is a cured head of the Lancre Ness Monster mounted on a mounting plaque. Against the north wall is an opinion poll. The citizens' gallery extends to the east and to the west, while an exit to the northwest leads to the entrance.
A brass plaque is here.

read plaque

You read the brass plaque:
Witch Trials 2015

look iconographs

This is a beautiful colour picture of a fallow field. It shows:
A lonely-looking scarecrow stands in the middle of a field that has been left fallow this year. It is filled with wild grasses and clover. The grasses are probably wild because of the crop circle in the middle of the field. The south end of the field disappears into Lancre Gorge.
There is an Old Mother Dismass shaped crater in the ground.
Valerin von Brassbridge is sitting in the grass, Pit, Kake and pommes d'Parranoid are sitting here, Camelion Sinensis is consulting his cactus, MotherGoose is watching the tricks, a mynah bird is flapping around, Sapphyr deParfum is judging judgily, Betta Recognize! is gawking and JinX, Mattias Brogher, Exote, Straightwire, Nyx, Spip, Juppie, a wolf-like Ramtop wolfhound, Laetha, Sneeky MacKill, Synonym and Unlucky Charlie are standing here.
Old Mother Dismass' crystal ball is wedged into the bottom of a crater and some Ankh-Morpork pence and a small coloured paintbox are on the ground.

This is a beautiful colour picture of Melons the giant fruitbat. It shows:
This is Melons, a fruitbat that Janeka Summers has summoned to do her bidding. He looks cute, in a way that only a two foot tall fruitbat carrying a small basket with its feet could.
He is following Janeka Summers.
He is in good shape.
He is flying.
He looks well-fed.
Wearing : A Monocle, a raspberry red tweed waistcoat, a cream cotton shirt and a raspberry red tweed bow tie.
Carrying: a cured juicy melon, a used crate, a hessian sack and a bronze helm.
His purse is fit to burst!
In the background you can see a fallow field.

This is a beautiful colour picture of MotherGoose. It shows:
You see Old MotherGoose the Witch.
She is a strapping young human lass.
MotherGoose is wearing reading glasses and a black pointy hat with a silver buckle. She is dressed all in black and carries a basket over one arm from which peeps a black and white checkered book. It almost seems as if she is wearing a costume or disguise. Though you can't help but notice an abundance of laugh wrinkles drawn upon her face, her heart shaped lips seems youthful, and her hazel eyes twinkle at you mischievously. Beneath her hat, her hair takes on a wild life of its own. The curls seem to bounce and frolic of their own accord. Her skin is tanned, though on close inspection you wonder if the tan is natural. Her hands are callused from working with hot bottles of potion. You would expect a witch like this to have heavy flat feet, but hers look delicate and swift.
She is in good shape.
She is huggin her new iron broom.
You can't help but notice eighteen warts upon her face.
She has a withered tiny somewhat thorny extreme double red rose neatly braided into her hair.
Wearing : a pair of reading glasses, a black woollen dress, a black backpack, a dark bone leather duffel bag, a pointy black hat, a fake flower, a utility belt, a blackened canteen, a diamond stud earring, a small bronze button, a gold ring, an occult raven necklace, a gold watch, a ruby ring, a stone medallion, Goose Shaped Badge, an ivory penholder, Dragon Shaped Badge, Mothergoose's Keyz and an occult bat brooch.
Carrying: an iron broomstick and a grotty old potato sack.
In the background you can see a fallow field.

This is a beautiful colour picture of a fallow field. It shows:
A lonely-looking scarecrow stands in the middle of a field that has been left fallow this year. It is filled with wild grasses and clover. The grasses are probably wild because of the crop circle in the middle of the field. The south end of the field disappears into Lancre Gorge.
There is an Old Mother Dismass shaped crater in the ground.
An octogram on the ground glows in eldritch fashion.
Valerin von Brassbridge is sitting in the grass, Mattias Brogher is looking harassed, MotherGoose is tapping her feet to the unheard tune, Camelion Sinensis is talking to his cactus and Very Reverend Khepresh, Jeanie, Lateralus O'lalah, Straightwire, Adorer, a scruffy tabby cat, a purple swamp dragon, JinX, Betta Recognize!, Sapphyr deParfum, Laetha, Quotid Obisnuit, Sorae, Leitho, Janeka Summers, Gwydion Kalashnikov, Verdancy, Sneeky MacKill, pommes d'Parranoid, Rakah Jaeger, Synonym, Nyx, Egwene, Spip, Exote, a wolf-like Ramtop wolfhound, Juppie and Unlucky Charlie are standing here.
Old Mother Dismass' crystal ball is wedged into the bottom of a crater and a crude string bag, a bronzed crook, a party hat, a sienna linen robe, a lion-skin cape, a pair of white sandals and a holy amulet are on the ground.

This is a beautiful colour picture of Spip. It shows:
You see Wicked Spip the Witch.
She is a strapping young human lass.
She is in good shape.
She is standing.
You can't help but notice twenty-three warts upon her face.
She has a bouquet of sweet-smelling freesias, a withered black orchid, a withered bunch of ultraviolet weeds, a withered purple violet and a withered black rose neatly braided into her hair.
She has a glittery blood red broomstick floating around her.
There is a soft glow of beauty to her features.
Holding : a glittery midnight black broomstick (left hand and right hand).
Wearing : a pair of hobnailed boots, Shroud Of Darkness, Spip's Black Crown, Tardis, Band Of Evil, Spip's Lethal Trap, Kordane's Trinket, a pair of dark sapphire earrings and a silver eyebrow barbell.
Carrying: a lamp, Grave Grabbed Gear, Spip's Evil Flame and Smelly Bag.
Her purse is tinkling with coins.
In the background you can see a fallow field.

This is a beautiful colour picture of Janeka Summers. It shows:
You see Janeka Summers the Witch.
She is a strapping young bat.
Are you sure this isn't a wizard? On closer inspection, the staff harness on her back has a broom in it, and her clothing has a distinct lack of glittery sequins. Still, the resemblance is eerie. She occasionally shifts her weight, as if uncomfortable on her feet.
She is in good shape.
She is drinking brandy from the bottle.
You can't help but notice twenty-one warts upon her face.
Her skin looks as hard as rock, although it seems weaker around the face.
She has Birdeating Spider floating around her.
She has a bouquet of sweet-smelling freesias neatly braided into her hair.
Holding : a wine red apple wood wand (left hand).
Wearing : a kinky pair of lavender silk boots, a pair of iron gauntlets, a padded monk's robe, a knapsack, A Nearby Parking Lot, a modern blackberry witches' hat, a keyring necklace, two club badges, an artificer's tool belt, A Hollow Skull and a silver-studded sword belt.
Carrying: a small compact, a bronze helm, a flat cap, a cured juicy melon and a large red bottle.
In the background you can see a fallow field.

This is a beautiful colour picture of Ayris the giant fruitbat. It shows:
This is Ayris, a fruitbat that Sorae has summoned to do her bidding. She looks cute, in a way that only a two foot tall fruitbat carrying a small basket with its feet could.
She is following Sorae.
She is in good shape.
She is flying.
She looks well-fed.
Wearing : a pair of jade green leather boots, a dark grey silk robe, a jade green flannel scarf and a jade green flannel bobble hat.
Carrying: a snow white canvas duffel bag, a large peridot bottle, a large white towel, a black silk carryall, a hunter's pack and a hessian sack.
In the background you can see a fallow field.

look head on mounting plaque

This is a fresh head severed from the corpse of the Lancre Ness Monster.
It seems to have been pickled.

look poll

A box with a bunch of pieces of paper sitting on it. It seems to be keeping a tally of something.

results of votes

Vote finished at Fri May 16 17:55:47 2014:
Please vote for your favourite poem.

Results:
Hogswatch Eve: 1
Glum Shadows: 0
Like a Virgin: 0
To Brass Bridge: 2
Teeny Weeny Newbie: 0
A Grief Shared: 1
A Tale of Two Hearts: 2
Resting Around the Hogswatch Tree: 0
Lancre Limericks: 6


Vote finished at Wed Sep 24 15:03:30 2014:
ASCII Competition

Results:
Wizzard: 1
Witch: 5
Vulture: 1


Vote finished at Fri Dec 26 14:01:56 2014:
Best Overall Picture

Results:
Adventurer's in Holy Wood: 3
Magistrates in their lounge: 1
Thieves in their foyer: 5
Black Widow House after winning the Hide & Seek championship: 0
Assassins during hiding practice: 1
von BrassBridge under their familial bridge: 5


Vote finished at Fri Dec 26 14:03:31 2014:
Best location

Results:
Adventurer's in Holy Wood: 6
Magistrates in their lounge: 0
Thieves in their foyer: 3
Black Widow House after winning the Hide & Seek championship: 0
Assassins during hiding practice: 1
von BrassBridge under their familial bridge: 5


Vote finished at Fri Dec 26 14:05:07 2014:
Best poses

Results:
Adventurer's in Holy Wood: 3
Magistrates in their lounge: 4
Thieves in their foyer: 5
Black Widow House after winning the Hide & Seek championship: 0
Assassins during hiding practice: 0
von BrassBridge under their familial bridge: 3


Vote finished at Sat Nov 7 04:47:29 2015:
"Right Before I Died" Portraits

Results:
Polycheria: 2
Mauve: 0
Kly: 0
Exoth: 1
Jaceth: 8
Mattias: 0
Jeanie: 0
Scouter: 0