Ankh-Morpork Royal Art Museum

There is one obvious exit: backward.

Light and Dark (competition)

Gallery Tour

look
This is the central section of the citizens' gallery. The south wall is covered with white paint, the north wall is covered with black paint and the ceiling is lined with rough granite. Two medium pine shelves face each other across the room. In the centre of the central section of the citizens' gallery is a pewter balance. Near the first medium pine shelf is a pleasant white standing vase. Near the second medium pine shelf is a jet black velvet patchwork quilt. The gallery continues to the east and to the west, and an exit leads northwest to the entrance.

look south wall
The south wall is covered with white paint. Against the south wall is a medium pine shelf near which is a pleasant white standing vase.

On the medium pine shelf are a sunlight yellow beech pen, a pair of white spider silk boxer shorts, a pair of silver-framed spectacles, a holy relic, a large cool white striped marble and a small bone white clay marble.

a pleasant white standing vase (Riverphoenix)
Tall and with a flat base, this pleasant vase serves its purpose as a work of art rather than a mere container. A quantum weather butterfly, its wings able to change the world with a single flap, has been stained on the vase in indigo. It is covered with a shiny white glaze. The pleasant white standing vase contains some fine white ash.

a sunlight yellow beech pen (Aerralin)
Slender but still authoritative-looking, this beautifully made beech pen seems almost as though it could write nothing foolish or untrue. It has been expertly stained sunlight yellow. The masterfully made italic nib is made from white gold.
The nib glistens with sungold.
It has been polished to a gleaming sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of eyebright into the air around it. The sunlight yellow beech pen has been graced with a beautifully engraved pair of stylised hearts, overlapping each other in a declaration of love.
It appears to have something written on it.
Written in extravagantly engraved letters:
Crafted in the light of the sun by Mistress Aerralin Applecakes.

> The silver-framed spectacles were contributed by Emily, and the marbles, white spider silk boxer shorts, and Pishe relic were contributed by the Museum.

look north wall
The north wall is covered with black paint. Against the north wall is a medium pine shelf near which is a jet black velvet patchwork quilt.

On the medium pine shelf are an eerie black ebony pen, a pair of black spider silk boxer shorts, a pair of dark sunglasses, a holy relic, a small pitch black glass marble and a medium eerie black striped marble.

a jet black velvet patchwork quilt (Jaceth)
This quilt has been carefully constructed from twelve jet black velvet blocks. The choice of matching both colour and material gives the quilt a certain understated style.

view block 1 on quilt
This large crescent moon applique sits on a background of jet black velvet. The applique has been cut from ivory silk and neatly stitched to the block with ivory thread.

an eerie black ebony pen (Aerralin)
Slender but still authoritative-looking, this beautifully made ebony pen seems almost as though it could write nothing foolish or untrue. It has been expertly stained eerie black. The masterfully made italic nib is made from black gold.
The nib glistens with onyx.
It has been polished to a lustrous sheen with beeswax which breathes the scent of night-blooming cereus into the air around it.
It has been engraved with a baroquely detailed skull, surrounded by a circle of finger bones and teeth arranged in the shape of a funeral wreath. The hollow eyes speak a tale of woe and despair, and the dead fingers almost seem to beckon you into their circle.
It appears to have something written on it.
Written in extravagantly engraved letters:
Crafted in the darkest of nights by Mistress Aerralin Applecakes.

> The dark sunglasses were contributed by Emily, and the marbles, black spider silk boxer shorts, and Sek relic were contributed by the Museum.

look pewter balance
This balance is unusual in two respects: it is somewhat larger than one would expect, and no matter what is placed in them, the two pans are always at the same level. Sandelfon would smile on such an object were he not already wearing a carefully neutral expression.
It is in excellent condition.
On the pewter balance are a pleasant coal black bowl, a satin covered gift box and a cuddly toy panda.

a pleasant coal black bowl (Pedro)
A painstakingly small clay bowl. A slender gleaming white stripe elegantly winds its way around the rim. It has been coated with a gleaming coal black glaze.
It appears to have something written on it.
Written in the clay in neat cursive:
Pedro Daluka

a cuddly toy panda (Mauve)
This is a cuddly toy panda. It is a true panda bear with its black and white fur. One eye has a black ring round it. This bear is the emblem for all things Agatean, or it would be if there were many real ones left.
It is perfectly plump but poorly-shaped.
It is nicely stitched together.
It is posed to be black and white.
Holding : a sai (left front paw) and a sai (right front paw).
Wearing : a long black coat and a black wide-brimmed hat.

a satin covered gift box (Aerralin)
This pine box is long and narrow with a hinged lid. It has been neatly covered with pearl grey satin and stylishly decorated with an eight-pointed star crafted from silver glitter. It would be perfect for holding a small gift.
> The gift box was originally the container for the two pens.